Morning dew and pitch black coffee stains

I am awake, why am I awake? What have I done to deserve this? This is the third time this week I'm up before nine in the morning, heck, up before 8 even. I must be sick, some sort of responsibility-gland that's not supposed to work has started up or something? It's torture I tell you all! *smashing head in keyboard to make funny button-pattern* I need coffee, black like the heart of satan, and lots of it. My mom would have been proud of me if she knew, she'd show a spoonfull of porrige into my mouth and say "good boy". And I'd waggle my tail. Hitler wasn't a warmonging, jewhating dictator, he was just an illusionary with a slight paranoia and some strange people-issues.... No wait. See what too much coffee does, that and complete and utter lack of snuggling? In which I could have given myself if I slept now. Utilitarism has taken steps to try to protect the rights of women, animals and trees, it's about time it stands up to the people who want's to sleep till noon. By a general estimate, all would be a lot happier if I could do that every day, thus if that is done, and I am right, it would be a morally right thing to do right? This is still the coffee talking by the way, coffee and my latest exam. Of which I by the way hope I passed. Though I only sat there half and hour, and about half that time I tried to doodle the Kei(from keisatsu)-kanji on the little yellow note I got. Bored? NEVER! Not as long as there is 3000(?) kanji and I know like 5 of them. Aaaaah, I just love these blogs that don't go nowhere, makes me give up all hope in humanity once again and that agian makes me feel hopelessly young. Makes me think about a commercial for a show on discovery. They list up stuff like, they destroy nature, and so on and so forth, and the point is I guess that I thought all the time that this was a show to criticize the human race, but it turned out to be a show about serial killers...... I didn't really ever get it. Final question, if there was a bug in your cereal, would you eat it? 

Yay I write stuff. Why you say? So that the public can enjoy their tv-dinners without having to think, so that presidents can keep getting elected without having anything constructive to bring into the world, so that religious people can keep on believing that they come to a heaven, so that decapitated chickens can keep running in circles..... That sure was harsh, I should perhaps not compare religious people with decapitated chickens? Well it was a spur of the moment thing and now it's in there. Only way back now is if I delete the entire blog and we all see that THAT didn't happen. But then again how many true believers is left in the world to be offended anyways? So hamburgers, that's what I wanted to talk about. Funny meat is it not? Claiming to be pork but hey, it's not a piece of ham at all, it is grounded beef. Cow, not pig as promised. Hehehe, that sure is funny. *chirp chirp* Ok you got me, I really have nothing to write about, I'm just writing to be writing. Which is really stupid since I should be preparing for my exams. I wanna hear Sira sing again, the little bugger sings better than she wishes to admit. Perhaps I'll try to make possible a visit agian. Cloud sure has spiky hair.....this is getting very silly so I'll end it here. 

Dream

This just might be the stupidest thing to write about ever but it disturbed me. I woke up today, remembering my dream, and in that dream I made love to an ex of mine. Now that does not sound to bad? Well it sort of sets me a bit on the edge as I really thought I'd gotten completely over her, in all manners. This dream then just makes me really worried about how maybe I deep down still crave her, or worse even, love her. Now I really hope the last is not the case. That would suck to put it blandly. There are other exes I'd rather dream of, so why her? Perhaps it's time to press the self-destruct button on the back of my mind and send it of into ever blankness? ...... Having such a button would be rather dumb now wouldn't it? I'm just gonna run around like a decapitated chicken for a while.

I haven't written for a long time. I was planning to many times but it just didn't come to it. But today I will write. What I've been doing lately is fairly uninteresting, just some concerts and tests and amusement parks and, wait, amusement park is worth mentioning.

Ok I'll start of with that then. We went to this park called Tusenfryd some time ago, me, Nikoniko, Goldie and some other friends of mine. Most of the day was regular fun so I'll skip that. What I wish to talk about is the significant thing that took place. Significant for me at least as I have a great fear of heights. I took this attraction called "Sky Coaster". It's mainly just a giant swing where you get pulled about 40 metres or so up in the air, attatched to a cable, and then dropped so that you swing. I believe this signifies a great change in me, if I could do this, maybe I can overcome some of my other fears. As a final comment: It was so totally worth the 200 kroners I had to pay extra!

Back to topic, or rather the reason why I write today. Sure it is partly because Goldie poked me and told me to write again, but I wouldn't have written if I had nothing to write about. I wanted to tell you about a ring of mine, a gold ring that means a lot to me. The reason why it means so much is a bit sad though. The ring was given to me upon my confirmation, an act I by the way undid a couple of years later. It was given to me by my parents and I loved it. I started using it every day. A year later or so, as my father died, it came to mean even more as I saw upon it as sort of a last piece of him, an impression that has strengthened as the years have passed. Then this fall I did something stupid. I have asked myself why many times lately. I lent my ring to my girlfriend as a token of trust and dedication. I felt that I would do anything to make her trust me and trust that I was faithfull. Whether or not it was love is a matter I will not indulge upon at this moment but something drove me to do just that. Spring came and she found that she wanted someone other than me, however the ring was still in her care. For months I asked and pleaded for her to remember to give my ring back to me. Today it was returned to me and I must say that I feel happier than ever to see it again. Never again shall it leave my finger. And never have it meant so much to me. The left hand is closest to the heart, my ringfinger will forever take care of a golden band.

I wish I could see what the different paths of life holds for me, I am at a sort of crossroad and wish I could see how to procceed. Meh, guess I'll just cover myself in work and see if anything has changed when I'm done.