Coffee, whisky and nothing!

It's half past seven in the morning and I haven't had a wink of sleep. Breakfast consists of way too strong coffee, half a glass of whisky, stale bread and some shit I found in the back of the fridge. I've got 4 assignments due, and I'm late writing them. It's a mess, the flat's a mess, I'm a mess, it's my fault and I really don't need that right now. Oh Internet God shouldst thou exist grant me this boon and help me turn things a bit around. You know, for a life or two. I need more coffee and/or more whisky. And a cigar. And some bacon. And some whisky. Can you bacon-wrap coffee? Can't waste my scotch on my coffee as a taste-enhancer so I'd have to think of something else. Well, I say scotch but it's really a little Japanese bastard. Sleepiness is a bitch and I'm its..... something. Can't think clearly.