On dreams

They say you dream insane dreams to stay sane. I dream normal dreams, where I feel happy and great. That must mean something. I trust it means I'm at least partially insane on the coocoo-train to nutcracker city. And that's reassuring. But it's kinda cute if my subconciousness is trying to cheer me up, and I'd rather be happy in my dreams than not at all. All the great what-ifs I get to experience. 

Nerves

Exam in less than 9 hours. Hopelessly badly prepared for this... I need a hug.

I write sins, and tradgedies, and about whatever I feel like

I'm noting that I write alot nowadays. It's kinda odd really. Or maybe not? It may be the exam closing up on me that makes me desperate for things to do other than studying. It may be my life in general that opens up for this kind of activity and/or therapy. It may even be the casual remembrance that I actually have a blog. I wonder though, is anybody still reading this?  If not, one might wonder why I still bother to write. Why not, I say, since I have to write this anyways somewhere, why not here?

Snowboard!!!!!!! and one more for good measure: !

Oh great big yawns. I'm outright sleepy allready, and it's barely past six. The effect of snow in the system I suppose. And the snow IS in the system, and no wonder. My last fall had me tumbling in every thinkable direction. Yes. So with the powder snow, the properly prepped slopes, and with a rather suiting population, I can give this day a good grade!

I dreamed a dream, wide awake.

It was a fantastic night. No stars on the winter night, the constant noise of a car-subwoofer and constantly freezing toes. I had laid down in my bed to watch Charlie and the chocolate factory on dvd and curled the quilt around me in a most intricate fashion. The song "I dreamed a dream" from Les Miserables kept churning in my mind as it had for days. And suddendly, in a moment of clarity, in a moment so beautifull that stars came out just for me, and all sounds hushed, time slowed to a halt. For there, in that flash of a second I could most certainly feel you in my arms, close to me in an embrace of passion and love. And my heart skipped a beat for you as it started to race. For truly, I was graced by a visit by Freya and Aphrodite, Isis and Branwen. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

On a side note: Having I dreamed a dream or any other Les Miserables song on your mind is seldom a bad thing.... Unless they are remakes or hopeless translations.

Make sense dammit!

"You!" I said and pointed a blaming finger at the hooded man who stood examining him. The hooded man, we shall call him: "W" for short, stood before me, bathed in a light so bright I could not for all my trying see his face. I blamed W for everthing, and nothing, feeling so sure in my guts he was the one responsible for all the missdeeds in the world. A world of blame and curses flooded over him like an avalanche. However, from every bad word W recieved he seemed as unaffected as only the truly emotionless ones can. And he grew, or so I thought. Later I have come to the conclusion that it was I that shrank. Regardless, W was now not only unaffected and unrecognisable, he was also bigger than me. So I became scared and cast away all thought of blame and hid instead. W found me every time without having looked for me, or even moved. Silently I cursed him for exicsting, and I was undone.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Nice little rant eh? Make sense out of it and I'll happily shave your back for a nickle! (unrelated reference) I need a shower and sleep.

Logging

I read an old log today. 3 years old to be exact. It was obviously a conversation between two people who no longer exicst. Curiously one carried the same name as I. But what he said seemed so naive; like a child waiting for the world to become just as he expected. Furthermore he seemed unable to pick up those little, vague hints that would have made his life less miserable. I could but pity him and hope that he'd learn from his mistakes, both past and present, so that when he realized his wrongs and missteps, he would be able to set things right. But then again, who am I to know?