Watching the fireflies without eyes
Eating the apple without taste
Hearing the wind without ears
Loving without a heart
Living without a love
I have no idea what fireflies really look like in real life but I imagine it being one of lifes prettiest things. "Sometimes I just wish to kill myself, sometimes I just want to kill everyone else" I'd perhaps say if I was fourteen. I'm not and my continous despair must be wented otherwise. Here perhaps? Perhaps. In a hundred years all that seems significant now will be unimportant. Maybe I should sleep a hundred years or so. But then again by then the world is probably destroyed by something or someone. I'm afraid of dying, not because it's painfull or anything, I just don't want to end this. Once I considered killing myself because I was so afraid of death that it hurt. Kind of paradocsal huh? Made perfect sense at the time, and probably the only reason why I didn't do it was uncertainity. A faint belief in christianity or something similar. That doesn't exist anymore, nor has it for many years. I've stopped thinking of killing myself, but never stopped fearing death. I seldom cry anymore though, perhaps I'm getting used to the idea? "There are worse things than death," they say, "I'd like to see that," I'll reply then. Perhaps they at one point finds a way to conserve what is the human mind in some sort of computer? I'll buy me one of those, or anything other offering immortality.....This sure was cheerfull, and this is why I should stop writing when depressed......
Eating the apple without taste
Hearing the wind without ears
Loving without a heart
Living without a love
I have no idea what fireflies really look like in real life but I imagine it being one of lifes prettiest things. "Sometimes I just wish to kill myself, sometimes I just want to kill everyone else" I'd perhaps say if I was fourteen. I'm not and my continous despair must be wented otherwise. Here perhaps? Perhaps. In a hundred years all that seems significant now will be unimportant. Maybe I should sleep a hundred years or so. But then again by then the world is probably destroyed by something or someone. I'm afraid of dying, not because it's painfull or anything, I just don't want to end this. Once I considered killing myself because I was so afraid of death that it hurt. Kind of paradocsal huh? Made perfect sense at the time, and probably the only reason why I didn't do it was uncertainity. A faint belief in christianity or something similar. That doesn't exist anymore, nor has it for many years. I've stopped thinking of killing myself, but never stopped fearing death. I seldom cry anymore though, perhaps I'm getting used to the idea? "There are worse things than death," they say, "I'd like to see that," I'll reply then. Perhaps they at one point finds a way to conserve what is the human mind in some sort of computer? I'll buy me one of those, or anything other offering immortality.....This sure was cheerfull, and this is why I should stop writing when depressed......
No comments:
Post a Comment