Bottoms up

My bottoms have all agreed lately. They'd rather be up. I make bad decisions. This much is obvious by this time in life. I look back and I'm blinded by it, which is why I stopped looking back, it's way too depressing. I said...well, I thought it at least, the last time, that I'd give it time for once, for only with time can the future grow properly. Hmpf, patience. I hate patience sometimes... That guy's a bitch, only postponing what's fun and all. and meanwhile I look at it all.... you have kids, great. your fiancé is awesome, great. sinning is a sin, f***ing fantastic. And I look at my phone. Not that it is more interesting. Not that I don't know what the time is. Not that I find any of you interesting.... It's just the opposite. But I can't help it. Spectacle of life, give me fun won't ya? But it can't be helped, or blamed. Maybe I oughta write something, anything. Whatever and whomever, wherever. My lips burn with the taste of years, and I spot death in its grotesque leer.