Morning dew and pitch black coffee stains

I am awake, why am I awake? What have I done to deserve this? This is the third time this week I'm up before nine in the morning, heck, up before 8 even. I must be sick, some sort of responsibility-gland that's not supposed to work has started up or something? It's torture I tell you all! *smashing head in keyboard to make funny button-pattern* I need coffee, black like the heart of satan, and lots of it. My mom would have been proud of me if she knew, she'd show a spoonfull of porrige into my mouth and say "good boy". And I'd waggle my tail. Hitler wasn't a warmonging, jewhating dictator, he was just an illusionary with a slight paranoia and some strange people-issues.... No wait. See what too much coffee does, that and complete and utter lack of snuggling? In which I could have given myself if I slept now. Utilitarism has taken steps to try to protect the rights of women, animals and trees, it's about time it stands up to the people who want's to sleep till noon. By a general estimate, all would be a lot happier if I could do that every day, thus if that is done, and I am right, it would be a morally right thing to do right? This is still the coffee talking by the way, coffee and my latest exam. Of which I by the way hope I passed. Though I only sat there half and hour, and about half that time I tried to doodle the Kei(from keisatsu)-kanji on the little yellow note I got. Bored? NEVER! Not as long as there is 3000(?) kanji and I know like 5 of them. Aaaaah, I just love these blogs that don't go nowhere, makes me give up all hope in humanity once again and that agian makes me feel hopelessly young. Makes me think about a commercial for a show on discovery. They list up stuff like, they destroy nature, and so on and so forth, and the point is I guess that I thought all the time that this was a show to criticize the human race, but it turned out to be a show about serial killers...... I didn't really ever get it. Final question, if there was a bug in your cereal, would you eat it? 

Yay I write stuff. Why you say? So that the public can enjoy their tv-dinners without having to think, so that presidents can keep getting elected without having anything constructive to bring into the world, so that religious people can keep on believing that they come to a heaven, so that decapitated chickens can keep running in circles..... That sure was harsh, I should perhaps not compare religious people with decapitated chickens? Well it was a spur of the moment thing and now it's in there. Only way back now is if I delete the entire blog and we all see that THAT didn't happen. But then again how many true believers is left in the world to be offended anyways? So hamburgers, that's what I wanted to talk about. Funny meat is it not? Claiming to be pork but hey, it's not a piece of ham at all, it is grounded beef. Cow, not pig as promised. Hehehe, that sure is funny. *chirp chirp* Ok you got me, I really have nothing to write about, I'm just writing to be writing. Which is really stupid since I should be preparing for my exams. I wanna hear Sira sing again, the little bugger sings better than she wishes to admit. Perhaps I'll try to make possible a visit agian. Cloud sure has spiky hair.....this is getting very silly so I'll end it here. 

Dream

This just might be the stupidest thing to write about ever but it disturbed me. I woke up today, remembering my dream, and in that dream I made love to an ex of mine. Now that does not sound to bad? Well it sort of sets me a bit on the edge as I really thought I'd gotten completely over her, in all manners. This dream then just makes me really worried about how maybe I deep down still crave her, or worse even, love her. Now I really hope the last is not the case. That would suck to put it blandly. There are other exes I'd rather dream of, so why her? Perhaps it's time to press the self-destruct button on the back of my mind and send it of into ever blankness? ...... Having such a button would be rather dumb now wouldn't it? I'm just gonna run around like a decapitated chicken for a while.

I haven't written for a long time. I was planning to many times but it just didn't come to it. But today I will write. What I've been doing lately is fairly uninteresting, just some concerts and tests and amusement parks and, wait, amusement park is worth mentioning.

Ok I'll start of with that then. We went to this park called Tusenfryd some time ago, me, Nikoniko, Goldie and some other friends of mine. Most of the day was regular fun so I'll skip that. What I wish to talk about is the significant thing that took place. Significant for me at least as I have a great fear of heights. I took this attraction called "Sky Coaster". It's mainly just a giant swing where you get pulled about 40 metres or so up in the air, attatched to a cable, and then dropped so that you swing. I believe this signifies a great change in me, if I could do this, maybe I can overcome some of my other fears. As a final comment: It was so totally worth the 200 kroners I had to pay extra!

Back to topic, or rather the reason why I write today. Sure it is partly because Goldie poked me and told me to write again, but I wouldn't have written if I had nothing to write about. I wanted to tell you about a ring of mine, a gold ring that means a lot to me. The reason why it means so much is a bit sad though. The ring was given to me upon my confirmation, an act I by the way undid a couple of years later. It was given to me by my parents and I loved it. I started using it every day. A year later or so, as my father died, it came to mean even more as I saw upon it as sort of a last piece of him, an impression that has strengthened as the years have passed. Then this fall I did something stupid. I have asked myself why many times lately. I lent my ring to my girlfriend as a token of trust and dedication. I felt that I would do anything to make her trust me and trust that I was faithfull. Whether or not it was love is a matter I will not indulge upon at this moment but something drove me to do just that. Spring came and she found that she wanted someone other than me, however the ring was still in her care. For months I asked and pleaded for her to remember to give my ring back to me. Today it was returned to me and I must say that I feel happier than ever to see it again. Never again shall it leave my finger. And never have it meant so much to me. The left hand is closest to the heart, my ringfinger will forever take care of a golden band.

I wish I could see what the different paths of life holds for me, I am at a sort of crossroad and wish I could see how to procceed. Meh, guess I'll just cover myself in work and see if anything has changed when I'm done.

Impressions on a Saturday.

 I walk out from the darkness of an underground-station and step into the square in front of the theatre. The square is bathed in a warming sunlight that gives of a nice feel of spring. Some trees gives of an aura of life that builds up under the already good feeling shared by the people on this square. People give eachother hugs as they probably haven't seen each other in quite a while. The square is one of the easiest place to meet people if the don't know the city so well. I see all this as I walk across the stones..... I seriously need a hug.

We sit around the table, drinking steadily. The talk and the laughter fills the not to big room. I pour another glass of beverage for myself, and obviously three others as they all raise their glasses in anticipation and looks at me. I pour it up for them as well. We raise our cups and drink, the taste of honey and liquer in unison travels through the body. I'm with friends.

One foot in front of the other. Come on body, this is not so hard, I know you can do it. Ooooh, baked-potato-stand, I gotta have me one of those. Potato is really good, but a bit messy. What the heck, food is food. Everybody dissappeares all the sudden, walking of to Nikoniko they say. Well that serves as an excuse for me to put on some music. Helps getting my ears warm again to. Crap, lost 20 kroners while trying to change track. Fumbling, fumbling, fumbling, found it! The walk can continue. Oooh, grass, I can lie in that and drink Coke. The stars are really beautifull. How long have I been watching the stars? Probably much longer than I think, better call Lasse. Meets up with Lasse. Movie sounds like a good idea.

As I get close to home I notice through the wall of music and thoughts that it is getting light outside. Sunrays are forcing themselves over the top of that hill way over on the other side of the city. True enough, the stars I was watching earlier are fading rapidly as their light must give way for the closest star of the all. I stop for a short while and just peer over where the dawn is coming. It's actually quite beautifull. I can't remember the last time I watched dawn come, if I ever watched it that is. How come I'm always alone when these things occur?

Drumstick

Let it be known that as I write this I am inches away from inconciousness by exhaustion. The reason be lack of drink, food and the heavy bodily strain I have put on my body for the last hours. Of course as I am writing this I am also correction this so that I hopefully can function for yet some other hours. I'm just to friggin' happy to sleep now. I have just reached home after the most awesome concert I have ever been to. That perhaps not saying much as I have been to very few concerts in my life, however this was an experience out of this world. I am of course refering to the Nine Inch Nails concert that just ended in Sentrum Scene in Oslo. I am a huge fan andthus, seeing them live, getting their water splashed on me and etcetera, was a true kick. Hmm, starting at the beginning perhaps. We arrived half an hour before the doors opened and of course, already people had started to stand in line. The common t-shirtsellers and black-market ticketmen marched around, I think they had a hard time though. NIN-people do NOT sell their tickets and the tickets were sold out only hours after sale. Lucky I even got one. Anyways, we got in, realized that we had absolutely no money at all so we couldn't get official t-shirts, and settled down almost in front of the scene. There we stayed. A band named Ladytron was warmup-band and they did their job for sure. Espacially awesome was their song "He Took Her To A Movie". But enough about them, they were cool enough but only the warmupband after all. After the warmup I got sorta known with this guy, totally NIN-fan and really psyked up for the concert. We talked for a while and he actully managed to stay only a couple of feet away from me through the entire ordeal. And that is saying a lot as the pushing and pulling was, as expected, very intense. I worked up a sweat pretty fast, but then again, so did everyone else. I feel really sorry for the short people there, having to breathe that air..... Well, I'm tall, tough luck. During the concert we almost made it to the front so I guess I should shut up and be content about that, and they played most of my favourite songs, in fact there was only one song I missed and that is good when coming to think of it. Could have been a lot more. I think the peak of the concert was when "Hurt" was played. Man, I just, I dunno, but it was great. At the end they did the obligatory guitar-smashing and of course the drumstick-tossing, and guess what, I got one. I reached out, grabbed a stick and held it firmly till all the others were forced to let go. Not the worst end of a rather perfect night I dare say. Now I have written, consumed about 2.5 liters of fluid and eaten some noodles, freshly imported. Or something like that. Of to bed. 

Pink flowers and insanity

Pieces of a life

I strolled down the main street of Oslo one day, as I tend to do and suddendly I smelt this beautifull perfume. I've probably smelt it before but this time it struck me, and I fell in love. It does not matter in who, I just enjoyed the feeling till it came to an end and none of those pesky inconveniences that follow falling in love bothered me. I did after all not fall in love with anybody that could push those on me, I only fell in love with the smell. I've done it several other times after that and it keeps giving me the same pleasant tingling sensation.

I burned it again..... This of course means that I must learn to pay attention to my cooking when I make dinner. Though then again, the taste sort of grows on you. Which reminds me that I really long for homemade pizza...... REALLY.

Lan got drunk and fell on a fire....which is a really dumb thing to do. She lives to tell the tale though, no harm done. Got quite happy myself, it was not half bad.

I've changed my mind, the taste doesn't grow on you, it just tastes horrible. Such a waste throwing it away though. Hopefully the chicken tastes better................. It does.